I Had a Dream

I had a dream. It was awesome.

There I was, walking through a field and I heard music. The next thing I know, I see Fred Durst standing in front of me with a microphone and he starts to sing. To me. Yup. I dreamed that Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit stood in front of me in a field full of cucumbers (yes, cucumbers) and sang "Behind Blue Eyes". Oddest dream I've had in awhile and I have yet to figure out what significance it has.

Hm. Yes. Well. 

Anyway. I've been having the oddest dreams lately and that was just the tip of the iceberg. Last night was a good one though. I woke up with a new determination and a huge smile on my face.

You see, in my dream I was crossing the finish line of a 10K. I'm not sure where, I'm not sure when. But I was running, I was crossing the finish line and there were still people behind me. I wasn't yet at my goal weight (can't have everything be awesome in your dreams, eh?) but there I was. Running.

In reality, this is a long way off. Not impossible, but in the relatively distant future. I am currently too heavy and have knees that belong on an 80 year old. If I tried to run very far now, I would seriously hurt myself. Not to mention the black eyes that would come from my boobs bouncing around. But I'm happy to think that at some point in the future, I could be running a 10K.

The thing is, I know it is possible. I know I could do it if I put my mind to it. And now it's a goal that I'm going to set for myself to achieve before I'm 40. That's 7 1/2 years. Plenty of time.

Not all our goals need to be immediate. Not all our goals need to be achievable in the next year. Remember that movie "The Bucket List"? Well, I've now added "Run a 10K" to my own bucket list. Even if it takes me til the year I turn 40 to get there, I will do it.

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Yesterday saw the beginning of a new challenge for me. In the past, I halfheartedly signed up for Robby's "Go The Distance" challenge. It was a monthly thing and I don't think I made it past the first couple weeks. I always let something else get in the way. No more. 

Yesterday I signed up for "Go The Distance 2012". It's the same basic premise but will go for the whole year.

I have challenged myself to complete 2400 KM in 2012. I will do this walking, running (eventually) or on the elliptical. I'm very, very excited about this and can't wait to see where this year takes me and the transformations I will see in my body. 

Come along and join us all won't you? There are some awesome people doing this. You can too!

Fit Date 001.12/152.3

Today is the first day of a new year. Today is the first day of MY year.

My year to be fit. My year to be strong. My year to be healthy. MY year.

For the last two years I have hummed and hawed, I have upped and downed and upped again, I have quit and restarted more times than I can count and more times than is even reasonable. I have cheated and I have lied to myself.

I have walked a path, but not the path that I was meant to walk. Instead, the path I have traveled has run through, around and sometimes parallel to where I want and need to be. My compass has been broken and the nasty lady in the GPS machine just makes me want to scream.

And so, I go in circles and occasionally pass through Chocolate Town by way of Pizza City. Sometimes I'll take the scenic route through Redemption Pass where I track religiously and make it a point to workout but there's just so long that my limited attention span can manage and I drift away back to the Big Greasy.

I've decided the tourist life isn't for me though. Sure the towns and cities are nice from time to time with their promises of deliciousness but I think I crave the quieter life. I think that deep down inside me has been a lingering urge to commune with the fruits and veggies, swim in the water and walk with the fit folk.

Excuses became such a deep seated defense mechanism that it has been hard to overcome them but, much like when I am trying to drive a manual transmission car, I have been slowly stripping away the gears. Sure, they're still there and of course they'd work if I really want them to, but for all intents and purposes they are now useless because of the strip job I've done on them. Pointless, useless excuses that no longer have a place in my life.

Motivation has been hiding out on Pie Crust Beach and getting itself a tan, which would be fine if it didn't make me so dang jealous when I burn. The thing about motivation is that when you think you've got it, you have to keep hold of it. Sometimes, the motivation you've got is actually just a big idea disguised as something more socially acceptable. In this kind of journey, your motivation needs to the right kind. What I thought was a journey driven by motivation to be health, fit, strong and thinner for myself turned out to be something else.

I've done a lot of reflection over the last few months while my husband has been working in another city and I've been eating well, eating poorly, eating well and eating REALLY bad again. During this reflection time, I realised that I was trying to lose weight to be more attractive for my husband, to be better looking for my kids (so they wouldn't be embarrassed), to prove to OTHER people that I could do it. But rarely did I say "I'm doing this for ME".

Well, screw that.

2012 is MY year.

This is my year to be healthy.

This is my year to be strong.

This is my year to be fit and awesome.

Because I want to for me. Because I NEED to for me. Because if I don't do this for me, it will never ever happen.

2012? This is MY year. And I'm gonna kick ass.

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The draw is still open to win a copy of "The End of Overeating". Just email lookingformyfeet@gmail.com and I'll enter you. Draw finishes January 6th, 2012 at Midnight PST. Open to readers worldwide. 

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UP FOR GRABS

As a little Boxing Day token for all of you, I have got a copy of "The End of Over Eating" up for grabs.

If you would like to win this book, please just send me an email at:

lookingformyfeet at gmail dot com

with the subject line "OVER EATING BOOK" and I will enter you in the draw.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would love to share it with all of you!