Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Here's to being able to remember the sweetness.

Thomas Fuller once said:

That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember.

He was so right.

As I stood on the scales at Weight Watchers tonight and watched the staff member write down my numbers, emotions wrestled in my head. If you were listening closely you may have heard the scream of frustration as I watched her write down a number that was not at all what I was hoping for. You have felt a slight breeze (and smelled a hint of garlic...sorry about that) as I breathed a heavy sigh of relief that the number was not higher than last week's. The ground may have shaken a tad as I stomped my foot before kicking myself in the ass for not caring enough this week.

You see, I had a week of "I don't give a crap". That's not to say that I ate bags of chips and gorged on chocolate. I didn't, though I was tempted. I ate good foods but I ate too much of them. Instead of a proper portion of spaghetti, I had one almost the same size as my husband had. One sandwich? Nah. I'll have two. Filled with veggies of course.

I didn't drink more than a couple of bottles of water all week and only went for a couple of walks. I drank far too much Coke and generally sat on my ass.

All this is why, when I weighed in tonight, I discovered I'd only lost 100 grams (0.22 lbs). Yup, that's what I said too.

Which brings me back to Mr. Fuller's quote up there.

This whole journey of losing weight that so many of us are on is a rather bitter one. We have spent weeks, months, years, sometimes even decades piling this weight on and chances are that, in some small way at least, we had fun doing it. Cake, booze, chocolate, chips, popcorn and more. It's all delicious, it's all available and it's now sitting on our hips in the form of lumps and bumps and cottage cheese cellulite.

Some of us look back and wonder what the hell we were doing. Others choose not to dwell on the past and just look forward.

Me? I'm stuck somewhere in the middle. I recently said that one of my new life mottoes was "No regrets". This is somewhat harder to employ when it comes to my weight, but I'm working on it.

This road that I'm traveling right now IS a bitter one. Every week when I step on those scales I'm hoping and praying that the number will be lower than the week before. Even just 100 grams. It's bitter knowing that the weight went on so quickly and so easily but it's going to take over a year (at least) to lose it all.

So why do it? Quite aside from the health issue and the desire to look smoking hot for my gorgeous husband, I need to do this. For me. For my mental health. I need to do it so that I can live past 50.

And when I'm done, I'll look great. I'll feel great. I will BE great!

And then I can look back on this adventure and think "That was SWEET".

That which is bitter to endure may be sweet to remember.


  1. Go baby! You are so close to 10%! I know you can do it!

  2. You are doing great!! This is a new week!!

  3. It's also hard to admit that you are worth it...that the sweetness can be for you.

  4. GREAT blog!! This will make a best-selling book one day!! Even the title is perfect. You are an excellent writer. Oh, that's right... you're also on an epic weight loss journey. Go girl!!

  5. I'm right there with you, what a journey we are taking! I'm right there with you all the way it's so hard to take off but man it was fun like you said and so easy to put it on!

    Thanks so much for stopping by and your amazing words! I say a lost is awesome celebrate darling you made a dent!

    We'll keep each other going! Hugs

  6. You will be great? You ARE great. For being you. For doing this. If you lose sight of that, of course it will be harder to stick with the programme.

  7. I once lost over 50 lbs on weight watchers, but have since gained it back. It took me some time to figure how it happened after having sworn to myself and others that I would NEVER look or feel that way again. I remember while losing the original 50+ I was weighing in when I met a woman I knew and she asked how I did it. I replied that it had been so was scary. I didn't know then how scary it would end up being. The first time when I lost the weight....I wasn't paying attention. I didn't feel the bitterness. (which for me meant that I didn't have any battles. You might think that would be great, but believe me it's the process that's the most important thing, because the process is learning how to deal with the disappointments as well as the successes along with learning how to battle through ) I didn't do that, so my success soon became my disappointment! You are on your way girl! It IS hard and it will at times be even harder....but your success will be deserved and you will be less likely to fall backwards because you have learned lessons that you will not forget. (Even if at times we pretend to!) Sorry for the long story but I want you to know that you have given me the inspiration that I needed to begin again and learn what I didn't the first time! Thank you!

  8. The main thing is that you recognize you had an off week and are determined to do better this week. Don't beat yourself up - accept it and move on. You are great as you are - this journey is hard, but your goal is within reach - you can do this, baby!

  9. Wow, you lost 100g! Well done, you're headed down still, that's the MOST important part. Yes, you could have done better, but you owned that, you know what went wrong, and it's life, we all need to relax sometimes. I know where you're coming from, I've lost 34kg now, but I had my 100 gram losses, I had my gains. As long as your average for the month has a minus sign in front of it, you deserve a big woo hoo!

  10. I agree with Mwa - you already _are_ great. Full stop. No ifs, ands, buts, or even butts.

    You. Are. Great.

    Must've been having an off day when you posted that, love, which is fine. You're entitled to those.

    As I've said before on facebook, muscle weighs more than fat and don't be disappointed on days when you find you've worked your ass off and gained weight. You're working your ass off and boy innit gonna be bootylicious when the muscle shows... :D

  11. The weight loss journey teaches us a lot about ourselves. Keep up the good work!