Fit Date 001.12/152.3

Today is the first day of a new year. Today is the first day of MY year.

My year to be fit. My year to be strong. My year to be healthy. MY year.

For the last two years I have hummed and hawed, I have upped and downed and upped again, I have quit and restarted more times than I can count and more times than is even reasonable. I have cheated and I have lied to myself.

I have walked a path, but not the path that I was meant to walk. Instead, the path I have traveled has run through, around and sometimes parallel to where I want and need to be. My compass has been broken and the nasty lady in the GPS machine just makes me want to scream.

And so, I go in circles and occasionally pass through Chocolate Town by way of Pizza City. Sometimes I'll take the scenic route through Redemption Pass where I track religiously and make it a point to workout but there's just so long that my limited attention span can manage and I drift away back to the Big Greasy.

I've decided the tourist life isn't for me though. Sure the towns and cities are nice from time to time with their promises of deliciousness but I think I crave the quieter life. I think that deep down inside me has been a lingering urge to commune with the fruits and veggies, swim in the water and walk with the fit folk.

Excuses became such a deep seated defense mechanism that it has been hard to overcome them but, much like when I am trying to drive a manual transmission car, I have been slowly stripping away the gears. Sure, they're still there and of course they'd work if I really want them to, but for all intents and purposes they are now useless because of the strip job I've done on them. Pointless, useless excuses that no longer have a place in my life.

Motivation has been hiding out on Pie Crust Beach and getting itself a tan, which would be fine if it didn't make me so dang jealous when I burn. The thing about motivation is that when you think you've got it, you have to keep hold of it. Sometimes, the motivation you've got is actually just a big idea disguised as something more socially acceptable. In this kind of journey, your motivation needs to the right kind. What I thought was a journey driven by motivation to be health, fit, strong and thinner for myself turned out to be something else.

I've done a lot of reflection over the last few months while my husband has been working in another city and I've been eating well, eating poorly, eating well and eating REALLY bad again. During this reflection time, I realised that I was trying to lose weight to be more attractive for my husband, to be better looking for my kids (so they wouldn't be embarrassed), to prove to OTHER people that I could do it. But rarely did I say "I'm doing this for ME".

Well, screw that.

2012 is MY year.

This is my year to be healthy.

This is my year to be strong.

This is my year to be fit and awesome.

Because I want to for me. Because I NEED to for me. Because if I don't do this for me, it will never ever happen.

2012? This is MY year. And I'm gonna kick ass.

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The draw is still open to win a copy of "The End of Overeating". Just email lookingformyfeet@gmail.com and I'll enter you. Draw finishes January 6th, 2012 at Midnight PST. Open to readers worldwide. 

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UP FOR GRABS

As a little Boxing Day token for all of you, I have got a copy of "The End of Over Eating" up for grabs.

If you would like to win this book, please just send me an email at:

lookingformyfeet at gmail dot com

with the subject line "OVER EATING BOOK" and I will enter you in the draw.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and would love to share it with all of you!

Y'all are better than a pair of Spanx!

Being fat is hard.

It's hard on your body, your mind, your emotions, and your health. Your self esteem can hit rock bottom, your emotions can take a dive into a never ending whirlpool. There will always be someone judging you because of your weight. Someone, somewhere, will always be ready with a rude or snarky comment about your weight and your appearance. Some of those people will do it under the guise of "just trying to help" when, in fact, they are doing more harm than good.

Being fat is hard.

Losing weight is hard.

It is also hard on your body, your mind and your emotions. Just stepping into a gym can be a real challenge to your pride and your courage. As an overweight person, it can be very disconcerting and overwhelming to see all those machines being used by a bunch of fit and trim gym bunnies when you have NO bloody idea what you're meant to be doing. New habits have to be learned, old habits scrapped. Exercise upped, food consumption lowered.

Losing weight is hard.

BUT!!!

Losing weight is not nearly as hard when you have a good support system.

I've had a hard time losing weight anyway, but it was infinitely harder when I was trying to do it in secret. I frequently run into people who have said they don't want their friends, family, partners, children etc etc knowing that they attend Weight Watchers meetings. When I was doing the same thing, I totally understood. Now? It baffles me.

Why?

I'll tell you.

Weight management programs no longer have the same stigma attached. Celebrities the world over are promoting these programs in the hopes that you and I will sign up and use them. If Fergie, Kirstie Alley and Valerie Bertinelli can lose weight like that, in the VERY public eye, why can't we?

Personally I'm at the point where I would rather have every single person I know be aware of the fact that I am trying to lose weight, than wonder if I'm ever going to bother.

Why?

I'll tell you.

I can't do this without support. I tried. I failed. Miserably.

Secret Squirrel Slimming Scenario: Go out for dinner with friends, tell waitress you're going to order a salad. Friends look at you as if you've just grown a third head out of your nose and wonder aloud why you're not ordering the normal 6 course meal that you would have previously. You can't bring yourself to tell them that you're going to Weight Watchers and trying to be healthy and lose weight, so you backtrack on the salad and end up ordering garlic bread, steak and chips, mushrooms, dessert, and beer. At weigh in the next week, you've gained 2 kilos.

Satisfactorily Slimming with Support: Go to a BBQ at a friend's house and show up holding a beautiful garden salad and a fruit platter. Instead of wondering what demonic creature has taken over your body to prevent you bringing 5 kilos of sausages and a cheesecake, the friend thanks you, congratulates you on your efforts thus far, and brings you a cold glass of water.

I have invited just about every single person on my friend list to "Like" my Facebook Page. (you should too! plug plug!)

I have shared the link to this blog with all the people close to me and some not so close.

Both of those locations detail my efforts AND list my weight.

Am I embarrassed by my weight? HELL YES! Am I doing something about it? DAMN STRAIGHT!

But I have had nothing but support from the people in my life. And for that I'm grateful because it makes this soooo much easier.

I blog partly because someone out there might be inspired by me to do something about their weight and their health. I blog because it's nice to be accountable to more than just friends, family and Facebook. I blog because I need the support, and I like to provide it where I can.

Your support system is every bit as ESSENTIAL as your exercise routine and the food you eat. Let the people in your life know what is going on with you. Swallow your stupid pride and tell your partner that you have 20 / 50 / 70 kilos to lose. Suck it up and tell the people who love you that you NEED their support because you want to be healthy.

As for you all out there reading this?? Spanx have got nothing on you.


Thanks for all your support!!