Sunday, February 20, 2011

Pretty, pretty please...if you ever, ever feel...less than

For the last few weeks there has been a song playing on the radio stations that is in grave danger of being OVER played, but I love it. The song in question is Pink's new one "F*ckin' Perfect". I've always been a fan of Pink and she has a few songs that make me cheer because they really speak to me. This is just the latest one (Warning: some language. Duh) :

I think there's some of you out there who need to seriously listen to this song. And not just listen, but really HEAR it! Play it, then play it again and again and again until it sinks in. You can find the lyrics to the song HERE but I just wanted to sample some of them and have a wee chat with you all.

"You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong
Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead
So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!
Filled with so much hatred.....such a tired game.
It's enough! I've done all I can think of
Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same"

Now, I'm sure when Pink wrote this song that she wasn't specifically targeting us folks on a journey through weight loss. She was talking to anyone who has ever struggled with anything. A bad childhood, a bad marriage, abuse, drugs, weight, trouble. The thing is, it all ties together.

Let's break it down a bit....

"You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong" - Show of many of us do this? How many of you out there, like me, put yourself down? How many of you can't take a compliment, often believing it to be fake or sarcastic? Well guess aren't alone. But you know what else? You. Are. WRONG. You are wrong about yourself.

You ARE deserving.

You ARE beautiful.

You ARE amazing.

You ARE worth it.

You ARE ............

"Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead" - I've said it before and I'll say it again.....if you stand in front of your mirror in the morning and the first things that pop into your mind are how horrible you look, what things you wish you could hide/change/erase, or the idea of heading back to bed instead of facing the day, then you need to write the following on your mirror:

"I wouldn't speak to other people the way I speak to myself"

That needs to be your mantra in the mornings until those little voices in your head have done away with the devil horns and popped on a halo and some angel wings. Shut them down! Do you ever feel better after you've stood there and put yourself down for a few minutes? NO! How much better would you feel if you stood there and looked at yourself in the mirror and said "I look good. It's going to be a good day"? Think about it.

"So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!" - This totally ties in with what I just said. I am fully aware, believe me, of how hard it is to look happy when you feel worthless, ugly, fat, etc etc. I am also very aware of how short a time it takes for that plastered on smile to actually start feeling real. When you look happy, even if you aren't, people assume you are. And before long, you start to feel happier. And like she'll make it! Make it through one day and then through the next. If something happens to throw you off, like a binge, start over! You WILL make it!

"Filled with so much hatred....such a tired game" - Isn't it exhausting always hating on yourself? I don't know about you but I find on the days when I stand in front of the mirror and get down on myself (and it happens!), the day feels like it'll never end and I'm so very tired by the end of it all. When I start my day with a positive attitude and a smile on my face, it never seems quite as bad. There is no point to self hatred. What does it achieve?? I've been there. I still go there sometimes. The only thing that comes from it is me feeling like a giant seagull came and crapped on my head. It IS a tired game. It's a game we ALL need to stop playing. Find a game that's more like Candyland, all rainbows and butterflies. When you play the game of self hatred, it's like playing Snakes and Ladders....except the ladders are short and rare and the snakes are everywhere and really really long. Slippery slope, people!

"It's enough! I've done all I can think of ....Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same" - I would never dare to sit here and tell you that I have chased down all my demons, but I'm definitely working on it. Remember when I said it all tied together? I meant it. Many of the overweight people I have spoken to, and I'm included in this group, will tell you that there is a pivotal moment in their lives when they started really piling on the weight. Yeah, yeah there's some who were heavy as kids and carried it on, or gained weight while pregnant and never lost it....but many people have a "demon" of sorts that started it all. YES food is the thing people blame. After all, it's food we're shoving down our throats. But, for me at least, food was the drug. Food was, and sometimes still is, the comfort. The cure. The pacifier.

Chase down your demons. Exorcise them. Stop feeding them with crap. Easier said than done, I know. But try!

I'm there's one or two of you sitting here thinking that it's all well and good for me to spout all this, but am I actually following my own advice? I try to. And most days, I do a damn good job of it. Then there's days like the ones after my husband lost his job and my emotions were all over the place, that I ate anything that wasn't physically nailed down. I still don't have a handle on it all the time, but I try. And that's all you can do. Try.

Having said that, I'd like to point you in the direction of the chorus for that song:

"Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than f*ckin perfect.
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're f*ckin perfect to me!"

So. While you're trying to chase down the demons, while you're doing your best to look in the mirror and like yourself, while you're eating the good foods & exercising your butt off, remember TWO things.....

1) You are perfect to ME. And chances are, you're perfect to a bunch of other people too.

2) defines perfect as:

1. Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.
2. Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.
3. Thoroughly skilled or talented in a certain field or area; proficient.
4. Completely suited for a particular purpose or situation: She was the perfect actress for the part.
a. Completely corresponding to a description, standard, or type: a perfect circle; a perfect gentleman.
b. Accurately reproducing an original: a perfect copy of the painting.
6. Complete; thorough; utter: a perfect fool.
7. Pure; undiluted; unmixed: perfect red.
8. Excellent and delightful in all respects: a perfect day.
9. Botany Having both stamens and pistils in the same flower; monoclinous.
10. Grammar Of, relating to, or constituting a verb form expressing action completed prior to a fixed point of reference in time.
11. Music Designating the three basic intervals of the octave, fourth, and fifth.

Did you see #4 and #8?

"Completely suited for a particular purpose or situation"

"Excellent and delightful in all respects"

YOU are suited for a particular purpose. To be YOU. And YOU are excellent AND delightful in all respects.

Perfect. But's just a word. Just be you. You rock.


For a different, but incredibly valuable, take on perfection and the way it impacts our lives, I'd like to invite you to go visit Single Dad Laughing and his post, "The disease called 'Perfection' ".

And if you need some uplifting of a different sort, check out Operation Beautiful. It's awesome.


  1. I love you, Maggie. This is brilliantly written and so inspiring. Thank you!!

  2. It is a FANtastic song despite the swear in it. First I made lil moonspun listen to it, despite the f word, then I let her download it onto her iPod, although she sings "bleepin' perfect." But she gets it and I want her too....The video is a bit too graphic for her yet.
    And the way that you cut it apart is genius, Maggie. I agree with Mumma Boo, a wise woman herself. You rocked with this post. I should really print it out and put it on MY mirror...
    Thank you for taking the time to write it out and share it.
    I love you, too!