Monday, November 2, 2009

Well don't I suck?!

May?! I haven't posted here since MAY?! What happened to all that resolve I had? All that "get up and go" to lose the pounds and pounds of weight that I'm carrying around every day? Weight that is doing damage to my back and my knees. Not to mention my heart and other organs.

It's November now! No. Vem. Ber! It's coming up to summer and am I ANY slimmer and closer to being able to look hot in cute little summer dresses and tank tops?

Hellz no!

You know what has changed since May though? Other than our move to New Zealand? I got a job. I'm a community support worker, looking after (mostly) elderly people. And on a daily basis I hear all about their ailments...largely around their joints and their hearts. It really hits home when they tell me that they wish they'd looked after themselves better when they were young.

One of my clients has had to go into permanent care because her adult onset diabetes has caused so many problems in her legs that she can barely walk. Not to mention the heart attacks she's been having since she was 45!

It's scary shit people...and it really makes me realise what I'm doing to myself.

I almost wish I WAS married to a guy who hated that I was fat. That he would tell me everyday that I should get off my fat ass and go for a walk. But then I realise how lucky I am that my darling husband doesn't talk to me like that. He's supportive of me no matter what I do, but he tells me I'm beautiful every day. And while that's a HUGE ego boost, it doesn't help with the weightloss.

What does help is hearing the tales from those the old folks, being uncomfortable squished into a tiny airplane flight for a THIRTEEN hour flight across the Pacific, not being able to find clothes that fit properly. I want to be able to buy the cute clothes...not the fat lady clothes. I want to make my husband proud when we go out together.

I know, I know, I sound like a broken record. I've said it all before. But I'm 30! I'm not getting any younger and it's not getting any easier to lose the weight is it? The longer I stay fat, the closer I get to my own personal heart attack...and my kids don't deserve that.

So. There is just over 6 months til my 31st birthday. How many inches can I slough off between now and then? How many pounds can I leave behind?

I actually have no idea how much I weigh. I'll have to stop in at the doc's office and use their scale as I don't actually own one. Sadly I can't afford Weight Watchers Online (or actual meetings) right now, but I'm trying to get my hands on a WW Points book so I can keep track.

Now I need you...if there is anyone out there who reads keep me accountable. And hey, if you need to lose some weight too, then join me!! We can challenge each other.

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