Saturday, December 5, 2009

Thoughts

As I come to the end of what has been a rather great weekend here in town, I've been pondering a few things.

See, I've been watching Biggest Loser Australia on the mornings that I haven't been working and it's inspiring and frustrating all at the same time.

Confused?

Inspiring ~ these people have left their families and friends behind to go off to what is, for all intents and purposes, a "fat camp" and work their asses off (quite literally) in the hopes of a) becoming healthier, lighter, fitter and possibly better looking and b) win a crap load of money. I watch them work out for hours a day and they're doing really well. And in the process, they're facing a lot of truths about themselves.

Frustrating ~ they are working themselves to the bone at this camp and yeah, they're losing weight, but are they REALLY learning anything? They're fed healthy food, they're told how to work out and it just keeps falling off. Because they have. nothing. else. to. do! If I had hours to work out every day and a personal chef to feed me nothing but a 1200 calorie, healthy diet...I'd be thin too!

What I like the best about this show though, is that the people really have to face some honest truths about themselves, and I think that's the hardest part of the whole weightloss journey - facing the reasons WHY we are where we are and what the repercussions of that are. Just the other day, this guy Sharif said that he was embarrassed to walk down the street with his wife. Not embarrassed for himself (although I'm sure that was part of it)...but embarrassed for HER because she was a tiny little thing and he was...well....he was fat. Very.

I get it. I totally get it. I've felt the same way about going places with my hubby a lot of the time. Next week we have his staff Christmas party to go to, with a bunch of people I've never met, and I'm terrified. I'm worried that they'll judge him because of me. I hate that other people, specifically my family, might be judged, laughed at or talked about because I am overweight. It's hard when he looks like this:


And I look like..well....this:


You get my point. Right?

So what else have I been pondering and doing?

~*~ I really need to give up the negative inner conversations with myself. They aren't helping and in fact, I think they're really holding me back in some areas. Just the other night at my Weight Watchers meeting, I told my leader that written on my bathroom mirror was "You would speak to others the way you speak to yourself". And I wouldn't. So why can't I follow that?

~*~ On Friday afternoon I walked to the school to pick up the kids instead of driving. It's 1.6kms each way, so a round trip is 3.2kms (2 miles). My mother's been saying I should walk on the nice days instead of driving, but I just kept brushing it off as yet another "Mom-ism". This time it occurred to me on my own ...so I did it. And I felt GREAT afterwards.

~*~ I've been really struggling with finding point friendly recipes for dinner time. I do fine at breakfast and lunch and even with snacking during the day...but come dinner time, I'm lost. So I make dinner for Hubby and the kids and then I have a sandwich and a salad. BO-RING! Anyone have any inspiration for me? Something I could make in the slow cooker would be great!

~*~ It has come to my attention that I am not nearly as sweet as I had originally thought. Those who know me are NOT shocked by this revelation, but it rocked me to the core. See, I went for a walk tonight...In. The. Rain. I walked for 3.5kms (2.2 miles) and I walked hard. Felt awesome when I got home too!

~*~ Black Eyed Peas and Paramore are fantastic to walk to.

~*~ People in this town are supportive. On my walk, I had a woman give me the thumbs up as she drove by, and a GUY honk and yell out his window "Good job girl!!" as he watched me walk. It was great and gave me the oomph to keep going all the way home.


That's it for today lovelies.

4 comments:

  1. I'm SO touched by the supportive people. Maybe I should move to your town.

    I find walks change everything. They give happy vibes and hormones, and you spend more time with the people you love, walking together. I walk to school even in the rain. Raincoats and boots hurray. If the kids don't get another option, it's not long before they stop complaining.

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  2. I love walking! I had kind of slacked off (and don't even know why!) but I am definitely going to start again!!! My neighbors aren't quite as supportive as yours. If they don't swerve to run me down, it's a good day (totally kidding...kind of).

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  3. Very much relate to what you have written esp the part about how we feel about ourselves when we're out with out partners and feeling awkward for them as well as ourselves. I feel the same way. I think a lot of it comes down to the self consciousness and self esteem issue that have always been there and hidden under the layers..I just did a post on my journal about that..how in peeling back the layers you have to deal with what's been hidden there.

    I love walking but find it hard on my knees at the moment so have taken up aqua jogging..keep it up every step you take is a step in the right direction :)

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  4. Wow you write so well. Thanks for your honesty and humour, it's a priviledge to be able to share in your journey. Congrats on making the decision to begin. You're on the right track, now you just need to keep taking baby steps and keep heading towards your goals.

    Onwards and downwards!!

    Anja (from WW Kiwi roll call) :)

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